An imaginary thingy,A fairytalesX3

2010-11-05T19:25:00.002+08:00

why must i be the one suffering?
why must i continue to suffer here?
why?
i realli donno wad to do.
you just push me right into a corner,
i don have any chance to escape.
why you can treat others so well and gd?
but just not me.
i realli feel veri pain,
veri pain.
can u understand the pain?
i know you don't understand at all.
i wan to let go,
but i can't.
you tink i enjoy letting you hurt?
i don feel gd at all.
i know you are just waiting for the tree to rot,
our relationship to fall.
you just like others ppl,
waiting for me to fall.
i donno whether i should hate u or wad.
but i just surpress my emotions.
i love you alot but wad about you?

2010-10-25T21:40:00.003+08:00

feel the pain once again,
why i'm always the one in fault?
why?
what i do,what i said,
is always wrong.
between they and me,
i'm always wrong.
i just said one word,
then i'm showing attitude.
yes,
i'm always the one with the problem.
not others, is just always me.
seriously, i feel veri tired.
so tired that i can't seem to breathe.
i find life meaningless.
nothing goes right,
everything are screwed up.
i feel like crying,
but i can't.
i'm just like a dog,
being so loyal for his return.
when he treats me gd,
i will shake my tail.
but if he forgets about me,
i will just sit there and continue waitng.
perhaps i more like a post it note.
when he need it,
he just take it and use.
but when he don't need it,
he just simple tear it down and throw into the rubbish bin.
i thought,
i could have more times with him.
not a full two days,
he said he find me irritating and annoying.
but with others,
being together for many days are still so fun.
you said i'm so idiotic and annoying.
fine fine fine,
i'm just nothing to you but just a piece of useless thing.

2010-10-22T08:22:00.002+08:00

i asked you, whether you still love me.
you were in a dilemma.
you said you don't know.
i told you there only yes or no.
so you went to told me no.
my heart shattered.
but i know you were lying.
i know you still love me deeply,
just like how i love you.
till this moment,
i still don believe that we can't be together.
i know we can.
is just how one think.
prove me right that you will be back.
you know,
i will wait.
and i wish you all the best for ur tp exam!
good luck!

2010-10-18T23:45:00.002+08:00

i hate my present me.
he can just hack care me,
why am i still caring so much.
why am i being so emotional one day and one day.
shouldn't i be veri strong?
seriously,
he wants the freedom,
he wants the glory of a perfect gf.
i'm not up to his standard,
or is the worse of all the girls he know.
why am i such a failure?
why can't i just face the truth?
why must i still act as nth have happen and still stick to him?
why i must let his friends have another chance to "attack" me?
why i must let him to have another chance to hurt me?
i hate that kind of unwanted feelings.
i know what is on his mind,
what he is planning.
i know he will not be back with me.
i know he just pity me.
all of them are just pretending.
pretending to be kind and courteous.
but the more goddness they looks on the outside,
they are double the evil in their inside.
humans are scary isn't it?

2010-10-13T15:02:00.002+08:00

i start to ask myself whether what i'm doing is right.
i thought,
i'm so strong to face any types of circumstances.
but i never realise,
i'm so wrong.
actually i'm just that weak to face anything.
i thought,
what i do will be right.
but actually,
i'm so~so wrong.
i hate myself for becoming like this.
i was once so strong,
i never let my emotions control my mind.
but now,
i became way too different.
i became so weak,
so useless.
the present me,
always allows my own emotions to control my mind.
i always broke down,
start to run away from problems.
i start to be different in a negative way.

2010-10-02T16:45:00.002+08:00

i know ii will not succeed,
i know ii will do badly for my 0levels.
no matter how hard ii try,
i will still fail.
i feel the pain,
i understand what will happen.
i know ii have failed badly in my life.
i will never be able to stand up and walk.
i will only have scars all over myself,
and that my life's history.

2010-10-02T16:08:00.002+08:00

i know nothing can changes the fact.
i know i have lost everything.
i'm tired,
i'm going to give up everything in my life.
i'm going to be a walking zombie.
i feel like shouting all the pain in me out,
i feel like bursting out all my tears.
i feel like running away from everything,
and hide away from everyone.

2010-08-28T22:14:00.001+08:00

ii always wish tat there is one person tat can be there for mii when ii fall.
till now,
the person is not here yet.
yet, ii'm being rejected,
feeling dejected.

2010-08-05T20:59:00.002+08:00

hmmmmm.....
ii miss,
ii start to feel love.
can you tell mii why ii feel the love when ii'm not supposed to?
ii always want to see you,
veri much.
ii really miss you,
ii very miss you.
can you appear everyday whenever ii miss you.
ii really do...

2010-06-22T05:34:00.003+08:00

竟然一切已开始了，为什么又要结束？
结束是代表着伤心的结局还是幸福的开始？
或许结束可能是另一个幸福的起点，
自少需要失败过才会明白成功的滋味。
若只是失败了一次就选择了放弃，
那就永远感受不到幸福，快乐和成功的滋味了。
人常说失败和成功只不过是一纸之隔，
可能在那秒你认为自己已经在失败的边缘但就在那一刻微微听到有人在呼唤着“要加油，还有机会”，
你突然醒悟了。
发现了其实自己还没完完全全的失败，
你站了起来努力地往着成功的边缘走去。
你把失败的命运转换成成功的开始。
那呼唤的声音其实是“勇气”。
人生难免会有失败，
每个人都会遇过许多的跌跌撞撞。
只要有勇气爬起来，
始总还是会成功。
这是我活了快十六年的想法和原则，
总是相信只要不放弃勇敢的面对一切就一定会有成功的一天。
可是却很多事已渐渐地改变了我的思想。
不单单改变了我的思想，
它也改变了整个的我。
相信一定会成功，会快乐，会幸福的我，
已经开始，慢慢，完完全全的不相信了。
有时逼自己，勉强自己再去相信但我还是没法相信。
或许这一切是注定的吧。
注定我得要当个烂好人，
到处帮别人。
可是似乎我这样帮，
也没有人愿意理解我。
其实有时我觉得自己好像便利贴，
需要时只要说一声马上帮，
不需要时只要斯下来就好了。
绝对不会留下任何的痕迹。
方便又实际。
也普通到根本没有人会想要留意，
有时连一眼也懒得看。
我只是想做个好人，
为什么这么难？
我终于明白了为什么人常说做坏人难但做好人更难。
有时常常想，
难道是我做的还不够多？
可能是因为我太不友善了，
但没有人明白我会这样做是为了保护自己。
说起来可能挺好笑的，
为什么要保护自己？
因为我知道我不像别人有人保护。
若我不保护自己，
谁会来保护我？
我不得不保护我自己。
也因如此无论面对着谁，
我都会有一辰的保护线。
人不为己天诛地灭，
这个世界是现实和残酷的，
不会有谁为了谁只有自己为了自己。
有时人做的太好也不这么好。

2010-06-12T01:59:00.002+08:00

well,
everything starts to be very clear now.
treating mii gd,
is just a pretence.
afterall,
they just wan mii to leave.
go as far away as possible,
and don bother them.
yes,
ii'm petty.
maybe ii'm just tinking too much.
but the truth is just infront of mii,
ii shouldn't believe it?
ii donno.
the truth is there,
yet it is blurish enough to confuse mii.
or the truth isn't wad it is,
or is the truth is too tough to let mii accept it?
my heart feel so pain,
a pain that ii donno how to describe.
who understand?
ii always understand ppl,
yet till this min nobody understand mii.
ii don except any returns,
but at least some gratitude to show mii that wad ii had done for others is worth it.
yet,
till this point of time everyone shows mii that wad ii had done is worthless.
ii donno how to express my feelings,
all is hidden beneath my bottom of my heart.
ii find it so difficult to breathe.

2010-06-08T03:52:00.006+08:00

ii still remember,
how loving we are.
how sweet we can be,
how good you treat mii.
even till now,
this sec this min,
you nvr change.
you still treat mii veri gd.
although we always quarrel,
always shouting to each other on the top of our voice.
we can quarrel non-stop,
quarrel for stupid and minor things.
ii understand how you feel,
how stress it is to be in between your frens and mii.
ii know how stubborn ii am,
how unreasonable ii can be.
ii always tell you that ii will change,
change my bad attitude away.
but ii never fulfill it,
and it never came true.
ii'm sry.
knowing you,
is a blessing for mii.
ii learn to give in,
learn to smile.
and learning that everything in the life,
might nt be somthing that we will understand.
and forcing is nt a happiness,
sometimes letting go might be one.
it might be stupid to say this,
saying that the world turn colourful when with you.
how dull the world can be if you leave mii,
how miserable ii can be without you.
remember,
how we always play chopsticks,oh~caterpilla,animal chess and fighting together.
ii might always lose,
but ii always tell you that one day ii will win.
ii nearly lost to you once,
that talk nearly cause mii to lose you.
ii will never forget how hard to call you,
and how heartless you are to reject my call.
at that moment,
my phone spoil.
ii felt so pain,
ii couldn't contact you.
at that point,
i know how much ii love you.
how much ii want you,
how much how much ii can't live without you around.
ii'm just like an animal,
you are the owner of it.
if you leave mii alone,
ii can live for awhile.
and die off from hunger and lonliness.
you are that important to mii,
so important that ii want the whole of you.
nothing else satisfy mii,
only you.
every single day being with you,
fill up my happiness bar level.
every mins and secs spend with you,
is never tiring and bored.
because you are my colour,
brightening my life.
ii remember every single things and words,
that we do and said.
halfway of a movie,
you first kissed mii.
and ii'm the one who took the initative,
to hold your hand.
ii hug you tight and close,
like a kola-bear.
whispering to each other ears,
ii~love~you.
because ii really do love you,
and ii will love you till forever&ever.
ii still remember,
do you?
My Dear BaBy♥

2010-05-28T02:16:00.002+08:00

ii'm different.
so different that you always can forget mii.
because ii'm too common till you can't notice mii.
to you,
ii'm just so common.
ii always can't fulfill your ideal dream girl.
ii don have the perfect figure,
don have the pretty face that you expect and want.
ii totally don match you.
a toad wanting to eat swan's flesh.
you are the swan,
ii'm the toad.
ii'm not attractive at all.
ii thought,
you will not mind.
but,
ii was wrong.
too naive to think that you don mind.
ii no you enjoy others girls company.
ii should count myself lucky that ii can have you as my boyfriend.
ii love you,
yet trying to save the love up.

2010-05-22T16:30:00.003+08:00

fate bought us together,
yet fate also pull us apart.
y must we be separated when we are already together for tat long?
y must we face the reality that we are going to live a different life from now onwards?
maybe everythings is fair,
you get and you lose.
for mii,
ii lose in kinship.
yet it gains mii back others.

2010-05-21T13:44:00.001+08:00

everything just seems so wrong?
ii had a dream yet it looks so real.
when ii wake up, the dream seems to be a reality that had happen.

2010-05-14T12:18:00.002+08:00

maybe times changes one,
ii can feel.
feeling that everything has change,
you are there but nt your soul.

2010-05-14T09:02:00.002+08:00

ii saw her blog.
ii understand how she feel now,
ii no she is very down.
yet still need to put up a strong front infront of her family.
it is really very hurtful.
seriously,
ii donno how to console her or help her.
ii really donno.
ii only can ask her to put all aside and cheer up.
if cry is the best solution to heal her,
then ii will ask her to cry her heart out.
but nobody knows wad the best solution to heal her,
except for herself.

2010-05-01T23:13:00.002+08:00

everything seems just like a dream,
a dream that can't be waken up.
heart lost,
can't be found.
maybe is just that ii am too self-centered,
ii'm just too selfish.
ii donno.
my heart feel uneasy,
a burden at there.
ii wan to learn,
learn to be an easy-going person.
ii feel down when he said that ii'm very disgusting and fat,
saying that ii don act as a girl.
ii donno how to be an elegant or rather a femine lady.
who will understand the feeling of letting a person who you love to said that to you.
because everyone is selfish,
everyone only care for themselves.
including him...
ii remember last time,
when we were just together for not long,
he will nvr critises me and said that ii'm fat.
he will nvr said how disgusting ii look when ii wear tight clothes when ii have a big tummy.
he will nvr feel that going out with me is a disgrace.
but now,
everything have change.
he just will nvr spare a thought for mii.
at this moment,
ii understand how one will feel when they are being hurt.
ii always tink that ii'm strong enough to face all these,
but actually ii don't even have the courage to face it.
he became another one,
just like other ppl out there.
only know how to critise me,
yet there is no praises from him.
seriously letting others to say that you are no worth their attention and care,
it realli hurts.
maybe ii'm realli just that useless and ugly,
ii shall just accept the fact.

2010-04-24T12:25:00.002+08:00

didn't really sleep well last night,
going out soon.
ii failed my english test,
8/20.
but ii wasn't happy and neither ii'm sad too.
when ii saw my result,
ii was just like ''oh okay.''
ii'm always trying to seek for a person that can really understand mii well.
ii thought ii have found but...
maybe just not the right one.
nvm.
anyway ii spend my night over at baby's house.
thats wad ii always do during weekend.
he played maple for the whole night,
till 6plus he wan to eat mac breakfast ii don't allowed him to go out eat.
till nearly 7,
ii ask him to go down eat mac,
but ii can see that he was realli tired thus ii just let him sleep.
he still sleeping now,
going to wake him up soon to prepare before going out.
well well,
next friday is the start of SA1 and Charlotte's birthday.
ii'm thinking of wad present to buy for her.
maybe a grand present since she is one of my closest's fren.
haha.

2010-04-23T23:20:00.002+08:00

it seems a long time that ii didn't post.
well, life was great yet still somehow bad.
ii always feel that ii'm lack of something even though ii got everything that ii want.
my teacher talk to mii and persuade me to drop my higher chinese since ii didn't even attend it for long.
ii have a hard time stuggling about whether should ii drop or continue...
in the end,
ii still drop.
maybe is the pleasure in studying chinese make mii feel like continue taking higher chinese,
but yet is the pressure and stress that ii'm facing when taking higher chinese want mii to drop.
well,
everything is over.
ii have given up on my higher chinese.
no point dwelling about it.
actually,
ii'm feeling quite down.
everything is pressurizing mii.
ii'm tired,
but ii can't give up.
ii miss the past.
missing how much fun ii had in sec2 with my frens.
yet we turn out to be enemies?
maybe ii did wrong.
maybe ii offended.
ii donno and don wish to know.
ii don wan to face the fact about what ii had done wrong.
why from frens we can turn to enemies?
ii'm lost of words.
ii show others how happy ii am,
but kept how unhappy ii am into my heart.
ii lied to others that ii'm feeling great,
ii lied that my life is wonderful.
ii show others how happy ii can be yet actually ii'm cheating them.
ii endure the pain that ii'm going through.
ii endure the tears that is rolling down.
ii act strong infront of others.
but ii do appreciate those ppl that create laughters and joy in my life.
what ii typing now,
might just be an illusion...
who knows.

2010-04-02T23:48:00.002+08:00

life can be colourful yet it can be dull.
it just depends on how you thinks and how you control the life.
ii'm learning to take things easy,
learning to be happy,
learning to allow my life to be colourful.
ii learn to accept changes,
ii learn to be realistic.
because in this world,
everyone is.

2010-03-14T22:05:00.002+08:00

days after days,
now ii finally understand what a family should be.
things done by them really hurts me.
actually not only family,
everything around me is hurting me.
ii donno how to accept because ii'm really hurt.
如果一切都可以重来，
我会是现在的我吗？

2010-02-18T21:05:00.002+08:00

if time can turn back,
will things change?
will ii be wad ii am?
or will ii be another person?
will my life change?
or the story continues?

2010-01-27T18:52:00.002+08:00

ii finally understand,
how unreasonable and stupid ii am.
ii'm sry for tat.

2009-12-23T20:45:00.002+08:00

skul starting soon!
12 more days to skul reopen!
9 more days to 2010year!
A very brand new start!
=D

everything continues,
but things will always nt be the same.
ii understand,
how much ii stand in your heart now.
it is no longer the same.
ii know,
everything means more than mii.
everything is more important than mii.
maybe they deserve you more than mii.
maybe ii'm not fit to have you around.
ii know everything tat you are thinking,
ii know wad your heart wants.
a dream tat you wan to fulfill,
but because of mii,
you can't.
althought,
ii believe ii love you more than others.
ii believe you will be my last if you are willing.
but wad ii believe might not be wad you believe,
and wad you wants.
ii know no matter how much ii love you,
how much ii'm willing to give you.
ii can't replace them in your heart.
they are always more important than mii.
unless you love mii more than ii love you.

2009-12-16T03:51:00.000+08:00

everything dies,
ii'm tired.

2009-12-01T16:41:00.002+08:00

Tired&Sick of everything,
ii start to hate.
ii donno how to love,
because you make mii feel so.
maybe ii'm worthless to you,
but you are priceless to mii.
ii give you everything tat ii could,
yet u throw it away.
ii show attitude but not onli to you,
yet you show attitude to mii even it isn't my fault.
maybe to you,
ii'm just nth.
ii come and go as you wan mii to,
and ii really follow so.
ii didn't accept but because of you,
ii tries my best to.
ii didn't wan to cry,
but ii just can't control.
maybe you regret,
regret being with mii.
if time turns back,
maybe everything will change.
but now,
ii left with a empty heart,
lost and hurt.
ii no,
ii shall use hatred to replace my love.
Loving you is fated,
Hating you is being forced.

2009-11-13T22:43:00.001+08:00

everything changes,
and it will be gone.
ii'm tired.
nt as happy and joyful as before.
maybe it's time to said gdbye.

2009-11-07T19:56:00.001+08:00

holidays is here,
yet ii'm rotting at home.
boring!

ii no everything is changing,
ii no history might repeat.
ii no ii might have to leave.

2009-10-28T00:41:00.002+08:00

Exams ends,
results took back.
&ii did badly,
50% ii will nt be able to get to sec4 EXPRESS!
=(
ii did study,
ii did work hard.
but the results is the same,
lousy!
ii tink is the matter of my brain,
ii being too stupid.

Things happening again,
quarrels starts again.
it nvr stops,
it just continues.
ii tried my best to hold on my tears,
but sad to said ii can't.
ii tired to follow wad you expect mii to do.
ii realli did try to.
but ii no is too difficult for mii.
because ii just love you too much.
just lyk wad ii always said,
you nvr no.

2009-10-19T18:10:00.001+08:00

if life is seperated into different parts,
i guess ii'm nt perfect in every parts.
because ii fail to.

2009-10-10T15:43:00.002+08:00

You can just turn your back,
and walk away.
you treat that nth had happen,
because you don care about it.
feelings,thoughts and everything of mii,
you don wish to know about it.
you lyk to close your eyes,
because you wan to treat nth had happen.
ii mend it back,
yet it broke again.
ii hold on it tight,
yet it wan to fly out.
ii let go,
yet it nvr came back.
i tried every of my means to be the one,
yet you tried every of your means to push mii away.
ii didn't cried,
because ii'm always a strong one.
ii didn't make a fuss out of it,
because you dislike mii to do so.
being isolated,
yet you tink it is alright.
ya,
maybe it is alright.
maybe everything are just a dream.
once ii woke up,
everything is over.
but,
it is a fact that ii must accept.
so ii endure,
yet ii broke down.

2009-10-10T15:35:00.002+08:00

Today had extra maths lesson,
was munching on waffle and drinking bubble tea during the lesson.
Then back home around 1plus,
took a bath and went to have a nap.
ii just woke up not long ago,
maybe later go back to sleep again.
cause there nth for mii to do,
ii'm just too lazy to study.
=)
and ii seriously flunk my Eng and Higher Chinese paper 1&2 yesterday!
sign.....
who ask mii don wan study hard,
everyday play play play play play=(
feel lyk crying........
nth much to post about,
byebye.

2009-09-19T22:17:00.002+08:00

Today went out to give tissue,
earn $26.50.
nt much money,
yet is fun.
Just came back home,
and bath etc.
now posting,
althought there nth much for mii to post.
=)

I finally understand,
how much ii stand in your heart.
thanks.

2009-09-18T23:54:00.001+08:00

IMissYou,Baby

2009-09-05T16:03:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was Our 6month Anniversary!
Met Baby at tamp inter after he end work,
which is around 6plus.
we went to have our dinner at Sakae,
ate till veri veri full.
then went to shop around,
ii bought two doraemon t-shirts.
ii bought at T1,
veri cute and two for $25.
the price is quite reasonable,
haha.
Baby bought mii something tat he no tat ii want it for long.
but just tat ii didn't mention it out,
=)
hahahahaha!
and later going to Toa Payoh Inter to meet Baby for dinner after his work.
oh ya,
ii took back my report book.
Eng-60B4
H.Chinese-Vr
Maths-25F9
Science(combined)-Vr
Combined Humans-46D7
Dnt-77A1

For subjects tat are listed Vr,
it means tat marks have nt be calculate out.
when ii take back my report slip for next term,
it will be listed out and counted into my overall year's result.

Andand,
this one week holiday is full of homework!
=(
and must do revision le,
End Of Examinations is just in 4weeks time.(including this one week holiday)

STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Baby,
ty for the present and yesterday going out with mii.
ii enjoy the day alot,
thanks.
we are together for half a year le,
ii just wish tat we can be together forever and ever.
Because,
onli you being around can brighten up my life.
with you,
everything is possible.
with you,
nothings scares mii.
because ii no,
you will be there to protect mii.
Onli you,
can melt my heart.
Babyiiloveyou♥

2009-08-24T16:44:00.002+08:00

It been a long long time since ii post my blog le.
well,
times passes veri quickly.
End Of Year Examinations is coming,
arghh.
but September holiday is coming!
yea!
but ii will still prefer December holiday.
2months of no skul,
=)
seems lyk ii look rather happy eh,
maybe yes maybe no.
haha.
oh ya,
ii fail my Chemistry test badly!
and ii'm oh so sad.
ii did studied but end up ii still fail.
=(
ii guess this term ii will do badly,
maybe even badly than last term.
and ii shall go find one wall,
and use my head to bang it real hard on it.
and shout:
JESSIE KONG HSUEH TENG,is time to wake up!!!
hahahahaha.

indeed times passes veri quickly,
everything starts to change.
the earth rotates,
ppl changes.
ii tink it is quite true isn't it?
ppl tat ii met along my way,
all started to change.
ii notice,
yet ii act as nth.
ppl change is a veri naturally thing.
maybe from the start,
ii should already know tat things will start to change to something worse.
ii understand.
it is part of our life to see ppl tat we love to leave us,
and find someone else.
ii no ii'm sad,
ii no ii can't accept it.
ii no we might nt be meant,
ii no tat it is just one-side.
ii no tat ii still love him.
ii look strong,
yet ii'm weak.
ii should start to accept,
because from young ii should no tat ii'm a failure.

2009-08-11T18:33:00.000+08:00

nothing but just you in my heart,
yet you wan it to end.

2009-08-07T19:32:00.002+08:00

such a long long time since ii post my blog.
guess where am ii ?
ii'm at....
.....
.....
.....
my stupid idiot Baby's house.
ii donno wad to post le.
haha.
sry!

ii just wanna to said,
ii love my Baby the most and forever!

2009-08-04T19:30:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 5 MONTH ANNIVERSARY,
my dear Baby♥
iiloveyouforever&ever!
muacks.

2009-07-31T17:09:00.002+08:00

something seems to be changing,
it is nt lyk before.
people changes as the earth revolves,
is it true enough?
everyone changes,
because nth stays forever.
it is just a matter of time.
seriously,
ii'm tired and sick.

2009-07-31T14:09:00.002+08:00

ii wan to apologize to them:
-Priskila
-Charlotte
-Deborah
-JiaYing
-JiaYi
-Veron

don ask mii why ii wan to apologize to them,
cause ii just feel tat there is a need to.

I'M SORRY!

2009-07-25T17:12:00.002+08:00

Thursday,
ii lyk finally met BABY after 3days of nt meeting him.
we went to have our dinner and he accompany mii to go see doctor,
then he came up my house.
we watch tv and play poker.
ii Enjoyed the time with him!

Friday,
which is yesterday.
BABY went to play bb after his work,
then play till around 10plus.
he came up my house to eat steamboat with mii.
we were talking all the way while we were eating,
then wash up all these then we watch tv and play poker again.
ii Enjoyed alot when he is with mii!

Saturday,
which is today.
BABY went to meet his mummy,
thus we didn't meet.
mostly,
he is going to stay over at his' mummy house.
thus,
ii'm veri sure till tomorrow night he then will go home.
thus,
my weekends is going to spend without him.
nvm

BABY working next week again,
he will be meeting his mummy on every sat.
and fri,
he will be playing bb.
then onli left with sunday,
ii'm sure he will rather stay at home on sunday.
so it is equal to...........
.......
.......
.......
.......
ii can onli meet him once a week or onli on our anniversary,
maybe even not.
ii'm sure tat alright with him,
but ii'm sure it is not alright with mii.
but wad can ii do,
just to accept.

2009-07-21T18:46:00.006+08:00

2 MORE DAYS, II WILL GET TO MEET BABY!
I♥BABY!
MUACKS!

Edited/

Baby called mii just now,
he saw mine blog and said he nt meeting mii after 2more days.
ii wonder when then we will be able to meet.
ii miss him alot alot,
haix=(

2009-07-18T16:22:00.002+08:00

BORING!!!
nth much for mii to do,
and ii'm feeling so bored.
ii feel lyk sleeping,
but can't.
cause going out later,
if ii sleep ii will be late.
yesterday ii cook de chicken stew was nt realli veri successful.
korkor said the taste veri plain,
even THE PERSON said tat too.
ii'm feeling so sleepy now,
and feel so vexed.
nth seems right to me at all,
or rather nth is right.
ii'm jealous over everything tat happen around mii,
since tat wad u guys said.

sometimes ii realli wonder,
wad u said is it realli the truth or just to entertain mii?

2009-07-17T20:27:00.004+08:00

went to skul today,
times passes veri slowly.
all lessons pass so slowly,
include recess.
=(
but,
dnt pass slighty faster.
ii'm glad.
wellwell,
ii fall asleep during dnt when doing the worksheet tat teacher gave us.
ii'm so damn tired eh!
cause yesterday reach home around 12plus,
then bath and do hw till 2plus then sleep.
then ii 530 jiu wake up prepare go skul le,
how can ii be nt tired?
haha.
then finally end skul,
walk to bus stop with jiaying.
she going her std house,
and ii told her maybe ii oso going my std house.
and wad realli funny is,
our std house are at bedok reserviour.
just tat her std house is there de 700plus,
mine std house is there de 600plus.
haha,
wanted to go 85 with her to eat de,
but due to baby rushing to play bb thus can't.=(
nvm,
ii'm sure there is next time=)
then ii went to sleep from 4plus to 7 lyk tat.
then ii jiu went to buy things.
going to cook chicken stew for THE PERSON later on.
nth much to post.
oh ya,
KOK JUN YU asked mii to post about him but seriously, ii donno wad to post about him.
erm...
okay,
ii shall post tat KOK JUN YU is a bamboo stick tat no how to walk!=D
nth much to post le,
byebye.

if one day my heart will to die,
the person who kill my heart will be you.

stop saying tat is my fault,
because it is nt my fault.
stop saying tat ii'm sensitive,
because ii'm nt.
stop saying tat ii'm a spoilt-mood person,
because ii don want to be one too.

there onli quarrels between us,
there nth else.
ii didn't give you spaces to breathe,
because of this quarrels start.
everything is my fault,
there no wrongs in others but just mii.
u just don understand,
nobody understand.
u said ii 'm selfish,
u said ii'm sensitive,
u said ii'm nt understanding.
ii change for you,
but seems tat u don care.
maybe wad ii had done for you,
is just an act from mii, right?
ii love you,
ii put my whole heart in you.
wad ii do,
ii will tink of you first.
is a life game,
either we both live or one of us live.
is okay for mii tat you put all wrongs on mii,
because ii don care all these ii just want you to be with mii forever.
because ii love you!

2009-07-11T14:24:00.002+08:00

erm...
it seems realli a long long time since ii post.
yesterday skul were fine,
time pass nt veri fast yet nt veri slow too.
ii onli fall asleep during physic for half an hour.
maths lesson was lyk doing works and talking to jiaying.
haha.
dnt lesson,
ii was lyk super hardworking.
kept doing my sketchbook thingy.
and ii nvr follow wad teacher ask us to do,
except some.
ii just do wad ii lyk to my sketchbook.
ii need a laptop & printer as fast as possible.
because ii need it for my dnt presentation board.
tat's important to mii!
ii forgot to bring my maths textbook back,
thus ii can't do my maths homework.
haha.
nvm,
mon then go skul do.
yesterday from 4.30pm slept till 11.30pm.
then ii jump up cause ii was thinking,
''shit, wad is de time now?''
then ii go see the time,
jiatlat 11.30pm le.
arghh,
ii felt so down for sleeping soo long.
cause ii can't meet baby and most important,
ii can't get to eat my dinner!
haha.
then call baby,
apologize to him.
he said ii veri pig can sleep so long.
then ii tell him later can't sleep le.
then talk to baby on phone till 3,
went to watch my show till 5.
then ii was lyk so tired,
so went to sleep till just now 2pm.
haha.
now still quite tired eh.
haha=)
nth to post le.
byebye=)

be happy,
look to the positive side.
don so shag,
cheer up!
remember,
ii will always be there for you.
smile!
=D

2009-07-05T17:00:00.002+08:00

yesterday went out with baby to plaza singapura.
okay,
met him at tamp inter.
then ii somehow find tat wad ii was wearing was veri weird,
and he find tat weird too.
ii'm wearing a dress,
haha.
so took cab back to my house then ii change back to wearing a short pants and top.
wearing pants is oh so comfortable.
haha.
then came out of house with mum,
then we three took lift go down.
then said byebye.
then off baby and ii went back to tamp inter,
then took train to plaza singapura.
then went to eat long john cause ii haven eat.
after finish eating,
we went to walk walk.
andand baby said ii eat chilli lyk drink water lyk tat.
cause use 10packets of chilli when eating long john,
and it is still nt enough.
haha,
long john don taste nice without chilli.
haha.
then ii kept looking at couple things,
for donno wad reason.
maybe is ii wan baby buy for us,
haha.
Difficult!
then after tat nth to do le,
so went out of plaza singapura.
then some sort have a minor quarrels with baby.
and again,
is cause of the same old reason tat always cause us to quarrel.
ii hate tat alot.
baby just don feel anything when we quarrel,
but onli veri pekchek with mii.
but,
he will nvr no how ii feel when we quarrel.
haix.
slack outside plaza singapura for awhile,
cause after we quarrel we were having a cold war.
baby just at there smoke,call ppl and looking around.
while mii was standing there looking into daze and tearing.
then after tat we went back to tamp mall popular to get my pens,
then went back to st81 there ate our dinner.
we ate Aston!
haha,
the food was so-so bah.
haha.
then take 293 home then saw kor in the bus too.
ii didn't saw him till he snap his finger at mii.
haha.
then we get off the bus,
kor went home.
baby and ii waiting for baby's fren.
then off we went to hougang plaza with jianpu along.
then baby and his fren played pool while jianpu played dadi with mii.
haha.
we kept saying each other is loser.
had fun,
and ii play a few match of pool with baby.
he won mii,
cause ii sucks at pool.
nt lyk my kor.
haha.
then 2am we went home.
haha.
reach home around 2plus.
then went to bath.
waited for my show tat start at 3,
in the end don have.
ii'm so sad.
after tat jiu go sleep le.
ii woke up at 3plus today.
haha,
order pizza to eat but haven come.
ii spend $50.95 on the pizza.
haha.
nth to post le,
byebye=)

baby,
ii realli hope we can stop all these quarrels.
you might nt feel anything when we quarrel and having cold war.
but,
ii feel hurt.
haix.

2009-07-03T16:21:00.002+08:00

finally it is weekend,
ii waited for so long.
skul was bored,
charlotte nt in skul.
wasn't veri used to her nt in skul,
haha.
andand,
ii thought today recess is 10am.
cause after tat it is 2periods of dnt then end skul le.
but who no,
recess still is at 11am.
cause 1period of dnt first then go recess then go back dnt workshop to have 1 more period of dnt then go home.
haha.
ii just find tat it is rather weird.
cause where gt halfway halfway de.
haha.
but ii tink is better,
at least nt straight 2 hours of dnt.
if nt it will be veri bored,
can die de.
ii tink dnt teacher wasn't in gd mood today,
cause jiaying said some weird and funny stuffs.
then he jiu scold her ask her to stop all those craps.
he last tim still will play with us de.
but after recess,
his mood gt better.
he even ask jiaying wad she ate during recess.
haha,
he is funny and cute.
went home bath,
and slept awhile.
ii'm going out soon!
byebye.

baby,
tomorrow is our fourth month anniversary le.
ii realli hope we can last.
even though,
we kept have minor quarrels.
but,
ii still love you alot.
ii no ii'm nt understanding enough,
ii no ii always want you to follow wad ii wan.
but,
is ii realli want to spend more times with you.
nt ii don wan give you ur own time,
is ii'm worry tat ii might nt have more times with you in the future.
or rather nt anymore times.
ii realli don wish to lose you,
because ii love you.

trust is to be earn or gain,
nt to be taken or given.

2009-07-02T19:19:00.003+08:00

it seems a long long time since ii post bah,
and skul starts.
and it sucks!
ms tan,mr yip&mr zaihan nvr come skul,
cause they went oversea and kena H1N1 virus.
haha,
just a small joke.
they are just on one week leave cause they went to those affected countries after 22/6/09.
was having so much fun without them,
cause kept gt relief teacher,
no nd study.
but,
the best is tat the skul close down.
cause ii realli hate skul,
those teachers tat keep catch my attire when ii'm already veri neat.
still wan threaten mii said cut my hair,
so funny.
my right hand is injured due to some reasons.
didn't went skul today,
cause ii having a cold.
wait!
ii didn't kena H1N1,
having cold is veri common.
haha,
ii'm so shag.
byebye!

if everything can restart,
maybe ii shouldn't have appear in his world.
but,
ii realli love him.
believe or nt is up to everyone.

2009-06-24T01:33:00.003+08:00

ii'm back!
guess wad,
baby sent mii home=D
ii'm oh-so-happy!
realli,
ii'm veri happy.
ate dinner with baby's auntie.
was quite fine,
haha.
nth post le,
bye=)

ii'm sry for draggin you guys down.
my apology.

2009-06-23T19:14:00.002+08:00

nth to post these few days.
going to work on thurs with priskila!
holiday ending soon,
because the MOE doesn't want to extend holiday for one more week.
they should extend,
the H1N1 is getting more and more serious.
if the virus realli spread to the skuls,
then it will be realli serious then ii wonder how the MOE going to settle it.
might as well extend one more week,
then ensure the virus will nt spread then reopen skul.
although even extend one more week might nt stop the virus from spreading,
but at least it is far more less percentage tat it will spreads.
isn't it?
haha.
okay,
maybe is ii haven enjoy my holiday enough,
tats y ii wan holiday to extend one more week.
haha.
holiday ending means,
skul starts again.
BORING!
first day of skul,
spot check again and lots of nagging from teachers!
JIATLAT!!!
ii don wan skul so fast reopen,
ii don wan go back skul.
MOE,
pls change your mind.
pls extend one more week of holiday.
pls!
=(
andand,
ii'm so bored now!
guess where ii am,
haha.
ii'm at baby's house.
he changing his bedsheets all these.
ii didn't help him,
because he said he don wan send mii home!
andand,
ii'm so sad!
nvm,
ii'm going to force him to send mii home.
muhaha=)
later going down to coffeeshop to eat with baby's father and auntie.
and ii'm so scare,
don ask mii why cause ii oso donno.
ii shall stop here,
because ii'm going to force baby to send mii home.
bye=)
wish tat baby will send mii home,
ii shall pray hard.

getting more and more restless these few days,
feeling so shag now.
haix.

2009-06-21T02:22:00.002+08:00

today went to my dad's place to work with priskila!
while baby went out with my jia po(my mother-in-law),
who is baby's lovely mummy.
and ii miss him so much so much,
because ii didn't get to meet him today.
andand,
tats wad baby ask mii to post.
haha,
and ii'm so bored!
ii chatting with baby now,
and he is a da ben zhu.
andand,
he said ii'm zhu zhu.
which is veri funny,
because ii tink alot ppl use these few nicks bah.
=D

2009-06-19T02:22:00.002+08:00

went out with baby to IKEA,
look around.
haha.
we were looking around,
and planning for our future house.
haha.
and saw different kind of beds,
ii was lyk testing this bed then tat bed.
haha.
saw a bed tat ii quite lyk,
but baby said lyk children's bed lyk tat=(
haha.
but if ii have my own room,
ii will buy tat ii tink.
haha=)
then went to slack slack,
then baby sent mii home.
tomorrow working at my dad's place again=(
Boring!

baby,
ii'm loving you more and more each day.

2009-06-17T00:39:00.002+08:00

went out with baby,
went to buy my slippers.
was quite happy at the start,
but donno why suddenly ii felt veri shag.
nt feeling veri well these few days.
came back home at 12sharp,ii tink.
then went to bath all these,
then now posting.
now having a bad headaches,
and ii'm seriously nt feeling well.
feel tired yet ii can't sleep.
or maybe ii'm just mentally tired?
haha,
ii also donno.
feel lyk using my head to bang the wall now!
we did went to slack just now with the usual ppl.
felt lyk crying just now when slacking.
feel lyk making myself bleed,
and feel the pain.

shag and tired is how ii feel now,
ii hate it!
=(

2009-06-16T03:32:00.002+08:00

BORED!!!
ii onli no tat ii'm veri veri veri bored.
so sianx.
andandand,
ii can't sleep.
arghh!
kor out to his fren's house,
so ii can use com to post since ii haven sleep.
nearly quarrel and make him angry,
because of some stupid things ii do.
ii'm sry.
howhowhow???
ii feeling bored and shag,
wad to do?
ii tink ii'm getting lesser and lesser sensitive?
maybe is because ii'm realli getting tired of caring so much,
in the end getting something tat ii don wish to get.
but the sensitive feeling is still there,
because ii care.
ii realli donno wad to do,
because ii'm feeling so shag.
everything changing,
ii feel tat it can't continue.
out of sudden,
ii miss judo.
for donno wad reason,
haha.

baby,
ii love you.
ii don need to be happy,
but you need to be.
because sorrows spread,
especially yours.
once you are happy,
happiness spreads.
and happy is the key.
=D

2009-06-15T02:54:00.001+08:00

finish changing my new blogskin,
lyk finally.
nth to post le,
bye.
ii'm so tired.

ii'm tired,
ii donno why.

2009-06-12T17:10:00.003+08:00

ii donno whether ii shall post how ii'm feeling now.
let mii tink....
maybe ii will just post some of it out.

you said ii'm veri sensitive,
but have u ever thought why?
the reason is veri simple,
is because ii'm afraid of losing you.
you said you wan to hung up the phone,
later then call mii back.
ii just merely ask you why,
because ii realli nvr go think wad you going to do so ii just asked you why.
and you somehow raised your voice at mii,
and ii apologize.
because ii no is my fault,
then you said tat ii'm veri sensitive.
ii didn't said anything,
ii just merely explain myself.
ii didn't shout neither did ii even talk back to you.
maybe you think ii did,
but maybe ii don't think so.
ii no,
ii'm nt as cute and adorable as other gals.
ii no,
my attitude is worst amongs all gals you no.
maybe sometimes wad ii do,
ii didn't care for how you feel.
ii no tat my fault,
ii no ii should nt apologize.
because you all said before apologizing everytime you make a mistake,
as time passes, it oso became no use.
but maybe,
ii onli no how to apologize.
ii'm just afraid you will get stolen by other gals,
because ii don wish to lose you.
ii'm petty ii no,
but is because ii care for you.
no matter wad it is,
is all my fault.
ii apologize to you.
ii'm sry.

but,ii realli love you.

2009-06-10T05:18:00.002+08:00

yesterday went to pasrir ris park,
then blah blah blah....
smth happen,
and wish you get well soon.
then went to jianpu house ton with baby.
then now using jianpu's com to post,
ii'm nt tired so ii didn't sleep.
haha,
donno wad to post le.

maybe everything will nt continue lyk wad ii tink.
it will start and it will eventually end.
this is a cycle?
or there is realli forever?
everlasting?

2009-06-06T11:51:00.003+08:00

you went without mii despite tat yesterday you promised to go with mii.

you lied,
ii'm sry.

2009-06-06T03:56:00.003+08:00

it started for few years,
yet it can just end within a few mins.
wad ii'm thinking?
memorizing the past,
yet looking forward to the future.
the past hurts,
will the future hurts more?
it always start with a question mark,
but it also always end with a full stop.
if losing memories cures,
then tell mii how to lose it?
if holding on kills,
then teach mii how to let go.
if knowing it will happens,
then help mii to rewind back the time.
if everything is impossible,
then help mii change to possible.
if crying helps to relieves,
then teach mii how to cry.
maybe tat wad life is,
it have it's start,
it have it's end.

ii will cherish because ii'm afraid of losing.

2009-06-02T01:32:00.002+08:00

despite how ii nag at you or pissed you off,
you will always show mii an angry face yet ii no tat u were nt realli angry.
you always do things tat somehow make mii angry,
but always show an ignorant and innocent face afterwards to plead for my forgive.
ii always act as ii'm still angry despite ii'm nt,
but you always see through my act.
whenever ii'm sad,
you will always ask mii wad happen.
ii always didn't tell you wad happen,
and you will always said: ''bi, you see we have secrets between us.''
then you will show mii a upset and black face.
when you don follow wad ii wan to do or go to,
ii will always give you cold shoulder.
then you will always at there making mii laugh,
trying all your best to make mii happy back.
but you will always follow wad ii wan,
because when you see my black face then there you goes: ''harna harna,okay okay.''
ii will always laugh whenever you said tat,
and you no ii'm nt angry anymore.
remember whenever ii tell you tat other gals oso wan to no you and you will prefer them than mii,
then you will start to sing chinese love song to mii.
and ii will goes smiling and from there ii no ii'm loving you more and more each day.
is nt because of wad,
is because ur care and love for mii.
no matter wad,
you will always give in to mii.
and follow wad ii said,
then always fool around with mii.
ii love you,
and ii realli do.
ii wan to continue holding on to you forever and ever,
because ii no ii will nt be able to find another better one.
baby,
it just a matter of time.
and time will shows you how much ii love you,
how much ii need you.
iiwillloveyouforeverandever,
and tat all ii no.

2009-06-01T23:35:00.000+08:00

ii'm so shag!
ii no you guys hate mii,
don lyk mii.
=x

2009-05-29T19:25:00.002+08:00

why you can tok to others smiling all the way,
but when toking to mii it seems tat u can't.
is it tat ii'm tinking too much or tat realli the fact?
ii no ii'm nt perfect but ii tries to.
ii realli tries my best to be a gd gf,
but it wasn't easy to meet up with ur expectation.
realli,
it wasn't easy.
nt tat ii'm nt happy when ii went out with you,
is because ii realli can't find the happiness.
when ii'm out with you,
the feeling is totally different.
ii do not get the whole of you,
maybe just a 10%.
you make mii feel tat you don realli wan mii to keep follow you,
maybe ii'm too irritating.
maybe bah,
but ii'm sry if ii did anything wrong again.
=(

2009-05-26T17:29:00.002+08:00

seems lyk ii'm so free till ii can post three times a day.
haha.
ii'm so happy!
for donno wad reason,
maybe ii'm just being insane.
ii donno wad to post actually.
ii just want to apologize to charlotte,
pls don angry le,sry!
ii tink nxt time my blog will be veri dead,
don have any post about going out all these.
because ii wan to stop going out,
unless is go out with ppl ii miss,eg; charlotte,priskila&sisters.
mum told mii tat ii should go out with other frens oso,
nt to keep go out with the same group if nt other frens will tink u ps them.
and ii this month must save alot alot money so cannot go out,
if nt no money buy things tat ii want to buy.
ii veri tired,
how?
hahahahaha.
ii tink ii have gone crazy.
maybe,
haha.
since ii'm so irritating,
then ii shall leave.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah.

2009-05-26T08:03:00.006+08:00

pictures time!!!

ii look rather funny.

baby is trying to show his teeth while smiling.

ii'm trying to act retard to match with baby.

iiloveyou<3

these were the pictures tat ii took on sat,23/5/09.
there were still some other more but ii didn't want to upload tat many,
so just choose some to upload.

2009-05-26T07:34:00.002+08:00

ii'm sry for wad ii had done.
forgive mii,
pls.
maybe ii shall realli change,
before you leave mii.
afraid of you leaving mii,
ii nd you.
baby,
iiloveyou.

ii will upload pics taken on sat,
the nxt post.

2009-05-25T17:14:00.005+08:00

something happen!
and we are going to break,
if ii don change my attitude!
ii no my attitude sucks,
ii'm petty,hyprocite,stubborn,veri easy agitated.
ii wan to change,
but it isn't easy.
if it is easy,
ii would have change long time ago.
ii nvr think of lasting veri long with you,
cause ii no my attitude will turns you off.
ii apologize for wadever ii had done to pissed you off,
ii'm sry for my bad and sucky attitude.
but,
it seems lyk apologizing doesn't help.
because ii kept said sry sry sry till no one feel tat ii'm sincere.
althought ii no we might break sooner or later,
ii still hold you tight and close.
cause ii nvr wan to lose you again.
everyone tink tat you are the one tat love mii alot,
while everyone tink tat ii don love you alot.
althought ii no tat is nt the fact but,
ii don see the nd to explain.
because maybe is wad ii had done,
make others feel tat you are the one tiongxim but nt mii.
althought ii feel sour when ppl said u treat mii as treasure while ii treat you as nth.
but ii nvr correct them.
because maybe wad ii had done,
realli make others think this way.
no matter wad,
how others think of mii,
how u tink of mii,
how u feel about mii,
how you are sick or tired of mii.
ii can't change the view of how u guys think.
but,
ii just hope for you to be happy.

ii love you,
tat true.
my feeling will nt fade but will get more and more deeper each day.
ii will change,
ii promise.
whether to continue is up to you,
ii respect your decision.
but ii will still hold you,
unless you wan mii to let go.
iiloveyou<3

2009-05-25T16:35:00.002+08:00

today didn't went to skul because ii wasn't feeling well,
teacher didn't call too guess they gave up on mii le.
haha.
wasn't in a veri good mood these few days.
feel so shag,
feel lyk banging the wall hard.
these few days oso nth to do,
onli went out on 23/5/09 which is sat.
went to suntec and orchard.
they went to suntec to see the wad games fair ii tink.
althought there are photos to upload but ii'm lazy to do so.
and is just some ugly pics of mii.
haha.
so no nd upload oso can de la.
then nth much le bah.
tomorrow going skul,
if nt how ii'm going to pass my 0levels chinese?
well,
nth to post le.
byebye.

although we were nt frens,
we do not no each other.
but upon hearing the news,
ii still can't hold my tears.
and ii just cried.
my condolence to his family's memeber.

maybe you are just tired and sick.
ii can't blame you,
cause nt all can tolerate.

maybe we will just end up breaking,
if ii don change.
ii'm sry?

2009-05-24T17:47:00.002+08:00

a tradegy happened.
yesterday ii heard the news about jon and my bro's fren,simon pass away.
ii was rather shocked when ii heard tat news.
nobody expect this to happen,
it is just too sudden.
how will such a tragic happen on a teenager lyk him?
although,
ii do not know him onli heard his name before.
ii still feel sad,
cause it is realli a shock in my life.
hearing upon the news,
ii feel so sorrows and feel lyk crying.
life is realli unpredictable,
we will nvr no wad will happen to us or others in the next mins.
we must cherish things and people around us,
because u will nvr get it back once you lose it.
ii donno wad to said,
but ii just feel so down.
why life is so unfair?
he is still a teenager,
life is still a long journey for him.
my condolence to his family's memebers.

2009-05-22T23:38:00.002+08:00

haha.
now talking on the phone with CHARLOTTE!
haha.
long time nvr chat with her le.
miss her so much.
=D

ii feel so shag now.
ii feel lyk crying out loud.
how?
ii feel lyk punching the wall,
and make myself bleed non-stop.
ii realli veri shag.
y things must be lyk tat?
ii'm sry.

2009-05-22T15:40:00.003+08:00

erm...
it seems a long time since ii had went to skul.
ii didn't went to skul for the past 4days include today.
ii will go nxt week to attend my 0level chinese coaching.
althought ii didn't get to no wad my result were.
but maybe is ii don see the need to no,
casue ii no ii had do badly for this term.
maybe is afraid of facing the reality of doing badly,
maybe is ii'm afraid ii donno how to face my parent?
but,
no matter wad.
wad done can't be undone.
so ii will go nxt week.
maybe ii should just stop skipping skul,
and start to work hard for my another 2 more terms.
so tat ii can get to sec4 express happily=)
ii was thinking for the past few days,
skipping skul is it realli tat fun?
nt going to skul benefits mii?
or maybe is ii hate studying,
tat y ii kept skipping skul?
but ii no ii can't afford to stop schooling.
my parent pin hopes on mii,
ii'm nt going to crash their hopes.
but,
it seems tat ii just can't stop myself from skipping skul.
from pri3,
ii had started to skip skul because ii don lyk skul!
but ii no,
ii must change.
yes,
changing to a gal tat will seldom skip skul.
and work hard for her future,
achieve wad her parent wants.
=D

being lyk tat,
ii onli blame myself.
because ii'm the one tat lead my own path.
no one can change and direct my path,
unless ii allow them to.
no matter wad happen now or in the future,
ii will nt blame anyone but onli myself.
rest assured,
ii will nt let the blame and burden drop on anyone except myself.

CHARLOTTE!
ii donno whether u will see my blog.
but ii just wanna apologize to you for nt going skul for so long.
somehow maybe is because we are in different classes,
so we are nt as close as before.
but we had grow up,
in different class we start to stop making fun and disturb teachers.
maybe it is a gd thing for both of us.
but,
in different class no one motivate mii to study.
haha.
okay,
ii should stop giving u promises lyk going to skul more often as ii no ii always can't fufill it.
but ii will try.
and ty for the past 2yrs,
no matter wad happen you are always with mii and lending mii a helping hand.
ii will nt forget how we always make fun of teachers,
talking back with teachers and serving detention together.
we will always be together when we are in skul,
and thinking how to continue pranking the teachers.
but there are still certain times,
we quarrel.
my apology for tat.
no matter wad happen now or in the future,
you always stand an important place in my heart tat no one can replace it.
no matter how far we are,
ii no ii will always remember you and our friendship=)

ii'm sry to you guys.
ii shouldn't said so much.
ii'm just too busybody.
ii'm sry.
my apology!

2009-05-20T17:29:00.003+08:00

later going out to meet him.
yea,
ii'm oh-so-happy!
haha.
well well,
nth much today.
ii don feel lyk going skul till nxt fri.
cause nxt fri is take back report book so ii wan to go.
haha=)
nth much.
byebye.

ii'm afraid tat one day u might stop loving mii.
ii'm sry.
u become so cold.

2009-05-19T17:16:00.002+08:00

17 of may was a great day.
went to attend my cousin's wedding.
early in the morning 7am,
ii woke up to prepare myself to go for the tea ceremony.
despite ii onli slept for one hour the previous night,
ii still manage to wake up.
haha.
ii didn't took any pics,
pics are all with my cousin.
haha.
then after the tea ceremony,
went home rest awhile.
then around 6plus,
went to the noventel hotel(donno whether spell correct).
then nth much.
the dinner start,
and love songs were played.
the wedding was a veri romantic wedding.
didn't ate much cause ii don realli lyk wedding dinner's food cause it just can't fill my stomach.
haha.
then went to cousin's hotel room to take a look.
and it is realli veri beautiful,
the senery is veri nice.
haha.
and the toilet super big,
the bathtub looks gd eh.
haha.
maybe ii should just soak myself in it.
haha.
then nth much,
went home.
bath all these and tat then sleep.

baby took for mii on 16 of may after my hair cut.

before going out for tea ceremony.

ii look tired eh.

>
tat was how ii wore to the wedding dinner.

dad&me!

the stage and the wedding cake.

mum&brother!

me again at the wedding dinner!

end of post!=D

it just seems so difficult for it to continue,
we just can't go well.
=(

2009-05-17T00:52:00.004+08:00

well well,
today went out with baby to shop for things for 17 of may which is later.
because,
ii have a wedding dinner so went to buy some things.
despite baby leg is injured,
he still pei mii walk here and there to get my things.
=D
we went to 'HELEN',
a so called jewellerys shop.
went in to get my necklace.
and we saw a familiar face,
it is a lady tat work in poiching's general office de.
she remember us,
she came to tok to us.
the lady: ''still remember mii mah?''
baby: ''u work in poiching de ah?''
the lady: ''ya, u desmond right?''
baby: '' ya, u remember my name ah?''
the lady: '' of course!''
it shows tat how ''famous'' baby was when he was at poiching.
ii bet is because he is oh so ''GUAI'' till ppl still can recongnize him despite it was so long ago.
haha.
then she gave mii discount for my necklace=)
ty alot.
then she thought ii 'm the same batch with baby when we pri skul.
then ii was lyk ''huh?! do ii look tat old?''
haha.
baby kept said ii'm old.
wadever!
haha.
then we went to walk here and there.
then went to cut my hair.
my hair was veri straight after the hair cut,
cause the auntie help mii to straighten using the straightener.
haha,
and wooooo..............
realli veri nice!
haha.
even baby said ii look nice with straight hair.
but now nt straight le,
sad=(
then went to slack,
onli two of us.
then jianpu come awhile.
then we tok about pri skul things and ii find tat actually ii quite miss pri skul times.
althought ii don realli lyk keep study and study.
haha.
secondary skul for mii have more freedom ii tink.
haha.
then home sweet home.
just finish bathing,
so here ii'm blogging.
and ii have blog finish!
=D
BYEBYE!

we drift and turn into strangers.
ii don no wad happen,
if ii do anything wrong pls tell mii.
sry.

everything realli changes,
all of us are drifting.
we aren't lyk the past.

baby,
ty for accompanying for the whole day despite ur injuries.
ii love you!

2009-05-15T16:27:00.003+08:00

ii'm now at baby's house.
andand he is sleeping lyk a pig.
so here ii'm blogging.
nth much to do.
feel lyk sleeping but don dare to cause ii'm nt at my own house.
haha.
nh post le.
byebye=)

iloveyou,
nvr ever wan you to go.
baby,muacks!

2009-05-15T13:37:00.003+08:00

exams finally end yesterday!
lyk so happy,
but once get back my results ii will cry till donno lyk wad.
cause ii for sure do badly.
today no skul cause ii don have any papers le.
nth to post bah.
if gt anything happen later,
then ii post.
byebye=)

maybe is just too late to apologize for wad ii had done.

ii wan to be with you forever,
but ii no ii can't force.

i'm dead beat!

2009-05-13T16:33:00.003+08:00

today had my lit and maths paper 2 exams.
and ii'm so sure ii going to fail both.
because both were veri difficult.
ii didn't have time to finish the maths paper 2.
andand ii squeeze all my brain juice out just to answers the maths paper 2 questions.
after both papers,
ii went home with half-opened eyes and ii have no enegry to tink and tok.
because my brain juice was used up.
went home bath and had a nap.
but still no brain juice in my brain.
tomorrow chem paper,
and is the last paper for mii!
ii'm so happy.
but when ii get back my results,
ii will bang my head real hard on the wall.
because ii no ii did badly.
but,
wad done can't be undone.
no point crying over spilt milk!
ii just have to work hard nxt term,
to go up sec4 express nxt yr and take my 0levels which ii have waited for sososo long.
if ii don do well,
who to blame?
MYSELF!
who asks mii nt to study,
everyday onli play play play.
serves mii right!
later going to study chem.
ii must scored an A for my chem no matter wad.
ii hope ii can do so.
nth much to post.
bye=)

there always things tat ii can't share.
of course nt posting on my blog.
but rather post it in my heart.

ii miss someone so badly,
ii need tat person.
onli the person can make mii understand.

nth much but just to hold.
it means lots,
so ii cried.
it ends,
so ii gave myself a tight slap.
asking y didn't ii cherish?
crying isn't my style when ii'm sad.
and sad isn't mii.
ii'm alone.
lonely but yet peaceful.
peacefulness tat ii feel can't be describe.
because ii'm afraid of ppl.
afraid of being hurt.
and ii'm more afraid of hurting others.
so,
ii keep to myself and be alone.

2009-05-11T19:45:00.002+08:00

today woke up at 1.
cause my mum yesterday tell mii today going out to buy things but in the end nvr.
haha,
sianx.
then nth much,
listen to my bro and mum de nag nag nag nag.
then went to bath,
then went down met up with weisia and alvin.
they were studying,
while ii do nth.
then went home,
do nth.
then went out,
guess where ii go?
...
...
...
...
...
...
ii go to someone's house!
haha,
lol.
then now at the person's house using his com to post my blog.
tomorrow 10m then nd reach skul cause ii onli take dnt paper tomorrow so can late go skul.
haha,
ii'm going to flunk my dnt paper cause ii flunk all le.
haha,
donno wad to post le.
haha,
byebye.

if things were as simple as wad we tink,
then where would we find our sorrow and happiness?

if life were simple and easy,
then where will the obstacles be?

read back my previous posts yesterday,
memories flash back.
somehow find tat last time ii'm quite hilarious?
being an idiot,
but it worth at least ii learn a lesson.
but yet ii cried.

2009-05-11T01:48:00.003+08:00

today went to buy present for mother's day at tamp.mall.
then went to slack awhile,
then went home.
just finish doing the card for my mum!
anyway,
mum
ii love you,
although ii do find u naggy but ii no wad u do is because of my own gd.
sry for being so unfillial.
Happy Mother's Day!
then now chatting on the phone with .....
monday no skul!
tues nd to reach skul by 10 cause first paper ii no nd take,
yea!
3more days jiu officially exams END!
ii no ii for sure will do badly,
but wad done can't be undone.
no choice,work hard nxt time=)
anyway,
jiaying cheer up!

*you nvr fail to make mii smile,
iiloveyou!*
*no matter how ii gave you attitude,
u always let mii.
no matter how ii anyhow angry with you,
even u are nt in wrong you will still apologize.
no matter how ii bully you or treat you badly,
u still always be there for mii.
baby,
ii love you.
ii no ii will nt be any luckier to have you back again.
so,
ii will hold u tight and close.
nvr ever let you go again.
muacks!*

2009-05-09T16:05:00.002+08:00

ii flunked my maths paper1 and physics paper yesterday.
haha.
cause didn't realli study much,
sianx=(
nth post le,
ii'm feeling down.

haix,
u said will end at 6,
then change again will end at 7.
ii didn't said anything.
then now u said will end at 8.
one hour later and later.
so,
later u telling mii going to change to 9 or even later?
ii no ii have no right to stop u from playing games.
ii called you,
then u sounds so sianx when u heard my voice.
ii'm so irrating?
maybe tat de fact.
ii no ii do show attitude to u,
but at least ii don always do wad u always do.
u no ii don lyk it,
but ii no u lyk it so ii allow it.
ii try nt to said anything.
ii onli nag at u sometimes,
and u find it irrating,isn't it?
maybe everything are going wrongly.

2009-05-07T13:10:00.002+08:00

flunk my papers!
how sad can it be.
tomorrow maths paper 1 and physic.
for sure die,
cause ii sucks at these two subjects.
okay,wadever.
ii just nd to buck up!
jyjy to everyone tat taking exams!
gd luck!
these few days were so bored.
have a long chat with charlotte just now.
it has been veri long since we realli sit down and tok.
cause we had drift=(
going out soon.
shall ii cut y hair?
haha.
ii donno.
nth to post le,
byebye.

ii no u are getting tired of tolerating mii,
ii'm sry.

2009-05-03T19:36:00.005+08:00

Yesterday went out with desmond,kheng heng,junjie,yuzhi,weisia&kheng heng's bro.
guess where did we went to?
we went to...
.....
.....
.....
EastCoastPark!
haha.
and ii woke up at 8.30 cause need prepare foods for pinic.
haha.
and my mum ask miii y our pinic is during afternoon de,
when it should be in the morning.
haha.
then ii tell her morning my frens can't wake up de.
oops!
haha.
ii cook pancakes,
it doesn't realli taste nice.
although they didn't said it.
haha.
we had fun there.
and this time special,
nt desmond fetch mii there.
it is kheng heng who fetch mii there.
ty alot,kheng heng!
he must have suffered,
cause ii'm nt veri light.
haha.
then we oso went to fishing.
and ii learn to fish.
but because of my carelessness and stupidness,
ii hurt junjie.
and ii feel so guilty.
ii'm sry,junjie.
realli veri sry,
ii didn't mean it.
my apology,sry.
then went to 85 to eat.
then went back 700plus then we slack till 12plus.
then home sweet home.
reach home and bath.
then ii fall asleep cause veri tired.
then today went to ah ma house cause her birthday.
didn't gave her any present just gave her a hongbao.
went there for awhile jiu go home le.
sry,ah ma.
anyway,
ah ma, A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
ILOVEYOU! =D
then went home.
now blogging.
tomorrow is higher chinese exams le.
stress!
and...
ii haven complete my Dnt presentation board which is due tomorrow.
ii'm going to be dead meat.
nth post le,
byebye=)

(if you guys want to see pics tat we took yesterday at eastcoastpark,go to weisia's blog. go to my blog's link and press her name then you will be able to see the pics,ty&enjoy!)

iilostyou.

2009-05-01T17:22:00.002+08:00

exams coming nxt week but ii have nt yet study.
ii'm going to flunk all my papers for sure.
and maybe retain/drop to na/or maybe even quit skul.
haha.
ii'm sure there are ppl laughing if those things happen on mii.
seriously,
ii'm so bored.
so ii kept coming to post.
nt to make my blog so dead.
and ii'm going to get emo again.
bye.

somehow ii'm nt tat important to you anymore,
or ii'm nt even anything important to you from the start.
everythings comes,
it will go no matter wad.
because nth stays forever.

2009-04-30T12:52:00.003+08:00

today didn't went to skul again,
because....
ii'm sick!
Dnt's presentation board due on nxt mon.
any kind soul out there,
house gt printer and dnt software to do the drawing can lend mii?
ii need it!
ii doubt there any kind soul out there.
nth post le.
bye=)

things turn better,but somehow something still remains.
ii feel unhappy,
but somehow there happiness in it.
its seems so complicated.
ii realli feel veri tired.
sry.

2009-04-29T11:10:00.002+08:00

how?
ii can't do my dnt presentation board,
because ii don have the software and printer.
arghh,
how am ii going to complete my board in time?
haix.

ii realli donno wad to said,
but onli apologize.
ii'm nt a perfect gf.
ii'm the worst gf of all ur ex.
because,
ii'm always the one creating problems.
ii never care for ur feelings,
ii'm selfish because ii onli tink for myself.
ii'm sry.
ii no sry can't solve the problems,
but tat the least ii can do.
as for the rest,
ii will clear it up.
baby,
my apology.

2009-04-28T15:28:00.003+08:00

Exams coming!
haven prepared yet,
how?
ii still need to chiong my presentation board which is due on this thurs.
how?
ii tink ii will flunk my DnT.
my artefact was real bad,
sketchbook was undone.
ii still need to revise for others subjects.
andand ii haven even start reading my litarature text,''Killing A Mocking Bird''
ii hope ii didn't spell the title wrongly.
ii'm so stress.
nxt week jiu exams le.
ii scared ii will flunk all my papers.
NO WAY!
ii'm gonna buck up NOW!
ii hope there still time for mii to do tat.
arghh!!!
so many things happening,realli make mii veri tired.
ii now no money le,
donno how to buy present for my grandma birthday which is this sun=(
ii'm so useless!
tat donno how to do,
this donno how to do.
ii'm such a failure!
no wonder ii'm called failure.
end here bah,
going to rest awhile before studying.

ii'm so tired,
feel lyk giving up.
ii feel tat ii'm just a replacement to them.
when they have no one to accompany them then they come find mii,
when there are ppl free to accompany them then they just leave mii all alone.
haix,
seems lyk ii'm just nth to them.

ii wan all these to continue forever and ever,
our love, ur care for mii and you holding mii tight and close.
maybe ii'm realli changing because of things happening around mii nowadays.
ii no ii'm turning more weird nowadays but,
u are always in my heart.
never ever will u be out of my heart,
because ii love you forever and ever even till ii die.

ii'm so tired,
realli tired.
the ferri wheel is stopping,
its going to stop turning sooner or later.
ii feel so stress,
so stress till ii can't catch any breath.
ii'm suffering,
no one knows.
but ii'm happy,
because ii must be!

2009-04-27T15:39:00.002+08:00

life is just lyk a ferri wheel.
it will starts and it will ends.
it has its highest moment,
and oso the lowest moment.
when the machine spoil,
it needs time to repair and back to normal.
just lyk a person's heart being broken,
it needs time to repair and recover.
ii'm once hurt,
everyone was hurt before.
ii need time to recover.
ii care for u too much,
till ii can't let myself to let you go ur own.
ii love you,
and wan to spend every mins and secs with you.
ii no ii'm selfish.
ii don wan other things to get into us.
ii just wan you to be with mii!
but,
ii no it is just so impossible to hold u on so tight and close.
cause u wan ur own time.
u said u need ur own time just lyk how ii do.
ii give you back the time you wan,
and ii will hold on the time ii need.
ii'm sry.

*ii'm tired, too tired to continue.
but my heart doesn't wish to put u down*

2009-04-24T13:44:00.003+08:00

maybe everything changes,
nth will last forever.
u nd ur own time,
sry for holding u so tight.
ii'm going to lossen my hold.
ii'm sure it will be better for you.
maybe ii just doesn't worth anything from you,
nt even ur love.
ii tries to be nt sensitive,
but it seems so difficult.
ii'm afraid of losing you.
maybe lossening the hold,
ii might just lose you.
but,
ii don wan to force you to do things tat u doesn't wan to do.
just let the fate decides whether we are meant to be together.
ii don wan to force you to be wif mii.
but no matter wad,
baby ii love you!

*an optismist see the bottle as half-filled while a pessimist see a bottle as half-empty*
ii'm a pessimist but acts lyk a optismist
ii'm sry for wad ii had done,maybe ii'm being to selfish.

2009-04-09T12:24:00.003+08:00

Today nvr went to skul again cause ii'm sick.
veri veri sick.
ii have a bad flu,headaches and giddy spells.
later maybe going to see doctor to get mc and medicine too.
mum was veri angry wif mii for nt going to skul.
haix.
and,
yesterday went to slack and we just reach the void deck then just sit down.
police come screen us.
haha.
is lyk haven sit dao for few mins,
police come le.
haha.
then the police said we veri noisy.
then ii was lyk ''huh''
we just reach onli then police come le then they said they come screen us cause we noisy.
lol.
ii tink singapore's police veri free.
haha.
then nth much.
baby sent mii home,
then he went home to play maple and cs.
then ii reach home awhile jiu sleep le.
haha.
nth much to post le.
SA1 coming,
ii must buck up le!
haha.
bye=)

2more days,
ii'm afraid.

2009-04-06T07:43:00.003+08:00

hello!
guess why ii'm here but nt in skul.
the answer is veri simple:
''ii never go skul.''
nt ii truancy or wad,
is ii realli sick.
haha.
later going to baby's house.
to watch show,
as we already said tat we going to watch show through internet either at his house or mine.
so we go his house,
since can't go my house.
haha.
andandand...
my dear fren,priskila.
ask mii today go skul,
tomorrow then don go then she oso can don go skul.
haha.
but sad,
ii'm already at home le.
now thinking whether should ii go skul tomorrow,
let mii consider first.
haha.
nth to post le,
bye.
when later ii get back from baby's house,
then see whether ii can use com to post.
and tell u guys,
wad happen.
bye=)

*Baby,
ii miss u so much.
meeting u later,
ii love you many many<3*

2009-04-05T03:29:00.004+08:00

jut came back nt long.
ii went out with Des,Kh,JunJie,JianPu,YuZhi,WeiSia&Jonathan.
actually wanted to go for rollar blading in the morning but ii nd go pray so didn't make it.
ii'm sry bout tat.
so after praying,
went to eat and went home.
reach home,bath and use com awhile jiu went to sleep le.
casue realli veri tired,
slept till 5.38pm.
if Des nvr call mii ii for sure can't wake up de.
haha,
ii said meet at 5.30pm but in the end ii after 5.30 then wake up.
haha,
so in the end met at 6.
sry=(
then went to take mrt to simei to meet up with weisia.
she lyk waited us at there for around an hour,
my apologize,weisia, sry.
then went to 18chef to eat.
the food is quite nice,
but the spicy tomato's flavour is realli realli veri veri veri spicy.
haha.
ii was tearing while ii'm eating.
then went back to TM,
went to watch movie.
between tat,smth happen.
so bought ice cream for weisia and myself.
and suddenly...
...
...
...
...
...
my toe CRAMP!!!
haha,
it is super pain,
and ii walk dao veri funny.
then went to watch movie,
the show tat jackie chan act de.
it is NC16,
but ii still manage to watch it.
haha=)
is because ii was nt there when they buy the tickets.
lol.
then after movie,went to inside a condon and slack there.
then we went home.
so reach home,bath and now blogging=D

*BABY,first month le.
ii'm afraid of the curse,
afraid of losing you.
pls, don ever let it come true again.
ii realli love you.
ii never wan to let you go again,
ii'm holding tight and close this time.
cause ii no ii can't live without you.
ii love you!<3*

2009-03-29T00:23:00.003+08:00

ohoh.
ii'm feeling so moody.
change my skin and blog song.
my blog song represent mii.
cause the lyrics simply just lyk wad happen on mii.
ii'n sad,ii'm down.
how?
nth much to do,
ii just feel so shag.
holding on or letting go,
neither of it is right or wrong.

Baby, ii need you.
but ii feel tat it don seems to affect ur life whether ii'm around or nt.
maybe is ii tink too much,
but ii'm realli afraid of losing you.
ii can't imagine myself without you.
ii will feel lost and lost my way if u were nt around.
ii apologize for wad ii had done,
don leave will you?

2009-03-27T22:38:00.004+08:00

it been a long long time since ii post.
skul is bored,
staying at home is bored,
going out is bored,
so overall,
life is bored!
haha.
well,
ii no ii veri lame cause ii realli veri sianx.
there is a maths test,
topic:inequality.
haha,
ii will be studying for it tomorrow.
ii wanna score well well,
although ii no it is veri difficult for mii to do tat.
haha.
ii donno wad to post.
ii just no tat life is bored for mii.
muhaha.
anyway,
mum bought mii a new wallet and a bracelet wif the name,FAILURE on it.
haha,
it is nice=D
ty alot,mum!
ii tink ii will stop here bah.
byebye=)

ii try all my best to hold it,
but ii donno y it seems harder and harder each day.
ii love you,
tat de fact tat can't be change.
maybe ii'm just too sensitive.
ii'm sry.

2009-03-22T00:11:00.006+08:00

ii donno wad to post bout,
yet ii still choose to blog.
nowadays kept quarrel wif parent,
they just don understand mii well or should ii said ii'm the one tat don understand them?
y can't they just accept the fact tat being lyk this is nt because of influences or wad,
is because ii'm always lyk tat.
in their mind,
my frens are always frens tat will teach mii bad just because of their appearance.
ii myself oso donno wad ii wan and tink,
my heart is always so heavy lyk before.
nvr ever lighten before,
it just get more and more heavy as time goes by.
they always think tat ii will because of my std or frens, then don wan them.
ii nvr ever said tat before and have tat kind of thinking.
all this while,
they are the one who kept anyhow tink.
ii nvr ever harbour those thoughts before.
seems lyk nowadays my blog have become so wordy.
yesterday went to pasir ris beach,
it just feels so gd to sit on the beach and look at the sea.
and ii cried lyk a baby when ii quarrel wif my mum,
ii'm just nt as strong as before.
ii can cry veri easily just because of stupid little matters.
ii'm so useless just lyk wad they think ii am.

the curse still remains, ii no.
it nvr goes away,
it just hunting mii lyk forever.
ii'm afraid thus causes mii to give up easily.
ii no,
ii'm losing to the curse.
nvr ever will ii win,
ii just going to lose him sooner or later.
ii don wish tat will happen,
but ii no it will still happen.
ii pray hard and hard,
don let mii lose him again.
ii just wan to be wif him.
but ii no it will nvr ever come true.
ii'm afraid,
ii'm scare.
everything seems lyk a dream,
a dream tat ii must be woken up from.
the time is nt here yet,
ii cherish the time wif him now.
but no matter wad,
ii just pray and wish the curse will be gone forever and ever.
let mii be wif him,
let us love each other till our life is over.
Baby,
ILOVEYOU♥

2009-03-20T03:39:00.003+08:00

ii'm so tired.
y everything must be lyk this?
ii tried,tried veri hard to take it easy.
but it seems lyk ii couldn't.
ii always wanted freedom.
ii was granted for tat,
but yet that freedom is so restricted.
it seems nth to them,
but it means lots to mii.
ii no they care for mii,
but ii don wan the care to be lyk this.
ii just wan to live freely,
no restriction from anything.
but,
it just seems too far for mii to be able to get it.
ii just wan freedom,
is it tat too much?
ii nvr lied,
ii nvr cheat.
yet,
u guys still don believe mii.
ii let u guys see my frens,
but in yr eyes they are nt gd.
because u guys onli look at the appearance,
instead of the heart or rather character.
u guys thought wad u guys do is for my own good.
but,
have u guys thought tat u guys are nt doing things for my own good.
u guys are just controlling mii over wad ii'm doing.
ii felt so sick bout tat,
u guys are tired so am ii.
u guys always thought u guys are the one who sacrifice
but u guys are wrong.
we all sacrifice,
nt onli u guys.
u guys think restricting mii from doing this and that,
ii will turn gd and listen to u guys.
u guys are extremely wrong,
the more u restrict mii the more ii wish to challenge wif u.
ii just wanna some air from this stuffy life.
but u guys don grant mii tat,
u guys onli love to have all the air by urself.
but nvr no tat,
ii nd it too.
u guys are selfish,
or rather ii'm nt sensible enough to understand wad u guys did is for my own gd.
ii just can't accept it.
ii just don wan to face it.
ii'm afraid,
afraid tat one day ii will breakdown.
ii don wish to lose him because of u guys or any others things else.
maybe wad ii did was wrong,
but ii just wanna protect myself and save myself.
ii just wanna steal some air from u guys.
ii love u guys,
but u guys took away the love from mii.
and thought all these is reasonable for u guys to take away.
ii'm sick of all these.
ii wanna run away,
but where can ii run to???
ii just wanna find a place,
a place tat have fresh air for mii and a place tat ii could run away from u guys and tat stuffy life.
pls,
ii beg u guys.
grant mii all these tat ii wan.
ii just wanna breathe.
ii'm suffocating!!!
save mii by giving mii air.
the air means freedom of no restrictions.
ii nd it,
before ii realli fall.
sry.

2009-03-18T22:18:00.002+08:00

well,
holiday is here but ii'm always rotting at home.
its bored,
but ii enjoy it.
haha,
nowadays ii love to be on my own.
ii just love to sit on the bed and don tink of anything,
just sit there and relax.
muhaha=D
andandand,
now ii'm sick.
having giddy spells and headaches.
falling ill during holiday aren't gd,
cause u can't skip skul.
muhaha.
seriously,ii donno wad to blog.
cause there nth for mii to blog.
haha,
and yesterday ii went back to skul for extra lit lesson.
and is onli teacher and mii.
cause my two group memebers didn't come.
but,
ii still prefer one to one teaching.
ii can understand much more better.
haha.
ii tink ii shall stop here.
cause ii realli donno wad to post.
haha=)
byebye!

*now ii no,actually 14 of march is white valentine*

* ii love you till the day ii leave this world*

ii look at you,and u gave mii a smile. it just brighten up my day.

2009-03-14T14:35:00.002+08:00

it been a long long time since ii post.
cause...
ii simply have nth to post about.
well,
yesterday took back report book.
and ii score badly for this term.
eng-c5
hmt-e8
maths-a2
combined sci-c6
combined humans-d7
dnt-c6
although,ii score an A for my maths is veri gd as from the day ii step in sec skul,my maths nvr score a B so this time round ii score an A is an achievement.
butbut,there nth for mii to happy about.
cause ii fail my hmt so badly,
ii nvr fail tat subject ever since ii came to this world.
ii'm veri sad and down.
but,ii'm going to buck up for hmt.
at the end of the year,
ii'm gonna to have a B or A for hmt!
anyway,
HAPPY ONE MONTH's ANNIVERSARY TO JIAYING AND HER STEADY!
last long and stay sweet forever=)

and these few days,
ii'm feeling so shag.
everything changes,
feeling so stress and seems lyk ii'm actually nth to them.
nvm,
ii'm nt realli bother by tat kind of things.
wanna to believe mii anot,
is up to u guys.
ii don care neither does ii wan to care.
let the nature takes it course.
if u all tink tat ii'm learning bad or turning bad,
then so be it.
ii have explain once to u guys,
but u guys chooses nt to believe mii.
then wad can ii do.
ii'm nt going to explain anymore.
u guys are tired of seeing mii lyk this and turning bad lyk wad u guys tink,
so am ii.
ii'm just lyk a rubber band,
the more u stretch it and don wan to loosen it.
ii'm going to break soon.
maybe even ii'm nt around,
u guys will feel better.
maybe ii'm just a burden to u guys,
if ii leave that will be the best.
maybe ii'm just nth to u guys,
nth, nt a thing tat ii thought ii was.

*how ii wish everything will stay lyk this forever,
even parent don wish to care about mii*

cause....
I LOVE YOU!

2009-02-25T20:52:00.002+08:00

well,today went to skul.
whole body was aching,
ii can't even walk normally.
it is just too pain=(
my mum said if this friday ii still go fro training,
when ii go home ii for sure paralyse de.
haha.
but no choice,friday is judo test to yellow tick.
ii don have the heart to take.
but if fail,
ii tink ii'm going to get scolded.
haix,nvm
used to get scolded le=)
so ii don mind.
ii realli don wan go in competition,
everytime oso lose the then still go for wad siax.
then everytime after competition,
ii for sure will absent one day then will go see doctor de.
waste my money!
then today gt PE lor.
my leg pain dao when go up de stairs or go down,
is lyk veri veri pain lor.
seriously,
ii donno how to describe the pain cause is realli too pain.
then nth much.
ii skipped bowling and went to slack wif charlotte,rayner and henry(donno spell correct mah,sry) .
then play poka cards and true or dare.
haha,super funny.
should nt elaborate much bout tat.
we from 2 slack till 7 plus lor.
haha,super long lor.
haha,
but time pass veri fast when having fun=D
then went home,
bath then now blogging.
oh ya,
tomorrow gt hmt exam.
ii scare saix!
ii don wan fail,
ii wan score well and get flying colours result!!!
then nth much le,
byebye=)

*maybe ii have already used wif u nt around mii*

*ii no ii still love you but u don't*

(ii no wad the answer tat u going to give,don said as ii don wish tat my heart will once again break for you)

2009-02-21T20:33:00.002+08:00

so sianx.
life is so boring la.
how sad it is.
today went to katong,
as usual ii just go there see onli=D
then seriously nth muchc happen la.
then took cab home,
then went to bath then had a short nap.
then order mac delivery eat,
watching lai bin xiao xin now.
haha,tat show veri nice=)
then now blogging lor.
tomorrow gt tuition,
must wake up early sianx=(
nth post le,byebye!

*if onli u could love mii again,
how wonderful will it be<3*

-ppl always said don get too serious in relationships during our age as it will nt last,
but no matter wad if we don give it a try we will nvr ever no the truth.

(ii miss you yet u don't)